As long as
by cattycat88
Summary: "As long as you don't think about it, it won't hurt as much. "An oneshot that I wrote. AU. Enjolras is going to France for college- yet Éponine just can't be with him. Please R&R !


As long as

Disclaimer:don't own les mis or the characters. Just simply love them. Xx

"Éponine I'm sorry. I didn't know you were that -"

"No,Enjolras,don't you understand? I'm not mad at you!"

"Then what are you mad at?"

"This life! Why is everything so freaking hard for us?"

Enjolras fell completely silent.

As the matter of fact,both of them fell silent. There were no exact words,nor possible ways to describe what they are facing now. They used to be the master of their own worlds- A world that used to bring them all they thought they needed. And yet there they were,in this unknown land which they knew nothing about, in this newfound love-they have never felt so clueless.

Or ,joyful.

Yes,yes,things couldn't be more complicated or depressing- But Éponine knew that she won't give this away for the world. This is Enjolras . The man of marble,the shiny Apollo,this impeachable genius. This newborn relationship has brought more life to her than any other things in the world combined. For the first time in forever,she was no longer a stray,nor a broken creature- She was loved. Loved! She bit her tongue to taste the word. Loved. Enjolras loved her for sure. What else could she possibly wish for? This,this relationship is everything that she's ever prayed for,ever wanted. Enjolras is her dream come true. His eyes. His words. His kisses.

But it's just makes it even harder to imagine letting him go...

" When will you be gone?" She tried to sound as calm as she can.

" Next year. I've been provided with full-scholarship so... " he choked on his words. It wasn't just the money. If it was,he would never leave her. But this is France they are talking about- France. The beautiful,magical country that he had his heart on since 2.

"I understand." She whispered.

"No Éponine,it's not like that. I'm going because... Because I belong there. I knew it in my guts that I will make a difference there. I know that my life will only be completed when I'm in that country." He ratted his hair in frustration- This was harder than he though it would be. How do you explain to a girl that you love her but you also need to leave her to full fill your life's worth?

"I said I understand. You needn't explain." She said in a small voice. She knew how Enjolras loves France. She could see it in his eyes- The way he gives speeches in French- there's fire in his eyes,the power that she've never seen before. He really belonged there. And if the prize to pay was only breaking her heart- Then he should go for it. She would never ruin his future,especially when she knew she was not worth it .

"So we have only year left."

"I suppose."

"It's not that bad,if you think about it-" she faked a wry smile,"French girls are always adorable. I'm sure you can find someone better than me-"

She was cut off by a kiss. That kiss was so violent that she couldn't even believe it came from her sweet,gentle Enjolras. He acted as if he could just eat her alive just to stop her from saying another syllable. God what have I done? Her mind went completely blank until Enjolras finally let her pull away.

"Don't you dare ." He growled in a husky voice,still breathless. " Don't you even dare thinking that I could love anyone,anyone more than I love you. Don't you dare even thinking about it again."

"What if..." Tears began to fall from her face, and yet she smiled. "What if I wanted you to do so?"

"I won't." He repeated,kissing away the tears on her cheek. How could she even let this thought run through her mind? She knew he loved her,doesn't she? He promised her. He gave her his word. Haven't he done enough to convince her,that she was the love of his life?

Enjolras has never felt so hopeless before. He have ,at last,found his passion,but that means to lose every inch of happiness he would ,and will ever get. And Éponine... Éponine! Haven't she suffered enough? Why is this happening to them? It's a good thing, for everyone else- getting scholar and going to France for college- that's sound like a dream. That was his dream,after all,until two month ago ,when he met Éponine.

He had sworn off women. He's seen others fell completely in love and lose their own identities. But it turns out,the only reason he haven't fallen for anyone,was because he haven't found the right one. Éponine wasn't an ordinary girl. She was strong,independent,and yet vulnerable on the inside. She was the most beautiful mess he's even seen. She was... So full of passion,though she has least reason to be so.

She's a treasure. A broken one,of course, but beautiful nonetheless. And he knew that she needed him,just as he needed her.

He needed this woman.

That's what love does to you. Before loving,you fear nothing and you feel strong on your own. But then,someone walks into your heart,and made it somehow,fragile. Enjolras himself used be such a smart,intelligent speaker,but when it comes to Éponine,he could barely thinks of 3 words,let alone giving lectures.

And this was the first time he have ever seen Éponine cry. Éponine used to be the kind of girl who never even winces when hurt,but just now she cried just like a little girl . What has he done to this girl?

What can be done to heal her?

" I will wait for you,Éponine,I will. Till the end of the time." He whispered into her ear. This was all he could think of.

She just cried in silence. For this one second,Enjolras wished that he's never got that scholar- Then he could just stay in this town and stay with her. No,that's what he used to fear. Nothing stands in his way when it comes to his dreams. Never.

Not even love.

Not even...

"So Wh-What happens next?" She murmured. Please don't break up with me,she begged,not now. I needed him so bad.

"What do you say if we make the best of this year and see what happens?" He ran his fingers through her matted hair. "We still have a year left,and who knows what happens next? Maybe you can come with me or ..." That sound ridiculous coming from his mouth. Even with Éponine's remarkable talent in art, how could her family ever support her? That's not happening.

"We'll figure something out." He repeated. "But until then, I want to enjoy every minute with you. Every damn second. Because I love you,Éponine,I love you."

As long as we are together. He thought to himself, there's nothing we can't fix. Who knows,maybe the world will end tomorrow and we'd all be dead. As long as she's in his arms,he must be able to do something. He's still the fearless leader Julien Enjolras,for all he knew.

"Fine..." She sniffed one last time. "Let's not think about it for now. For now, it's just you,me,and our life,ok?"

Smiling hurts. But she did it anyways. For both of them.

"And Enjolras? I love you too."

As long as you keep smiling,they won't know that something is killing you inside. Éponine has known this at a very young age. And if you keep smiling,yourself will even forget. Even just for a while,it would be better.

"So would you fancy coming to the art festival with me?..."

As long as you don't think about it, it won't hurt as much. They looked into each other's eyes and kissed again. She let herself nib and bite and taste every bit of him,getting the taste of him all over her tongue. Simultaneously,he did exactly the same. Her. Her. Her. That's all Enjolras could think of. Her lips on his,her body trembling in excitement. It seemed like ages when the finally let go of each other,sill flavoring the moment.

"It's going to be alright." They said in unison. Both with unsteady voice and wandering eyes.

It's going to be alright.

As long as.

-fin 

Ok I know this is a pretty strange AU for most you guys to see... But um,I'm going through something and I feel like I can only get things out of my head by writing this. So, hope you like it.


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